Meditation on John 14:1-7, 15-18, 25-27
In Memory of Zena “Sue” Nunziata
November 9, 1934 – December 27, 2023
Pastor Karen Crawford
First Presbyterian Church of Smithtown, NY
I didn’t remember her name was “Zena” on my first visit to Sue at St. James Rehab, more than a year ago.
Wearing a clerical collar, holding my conspicuous bag with Communion elements and a Bible, identifying myself as Sue’s pastor, the person at the front desk was only following protocol when she asked, “Do you know her by another name?”
She let me pass when I gave the name of her husband: Tom. Everyone knew Tom, who visited her every day after lunch, stayed till after supper, and made his presence known to staff and residents, alike.
Tom and Sue. Sue and Tom. They were almost always together—just as Tom had predicted when he saw her walking across the Quad at Hofstra in 1952. Tom, a football player in his sophomore year, was sitting with one of his pals in front of a building when he called out to Sue, wearing her freshman beanie and a poodle skirt.
“You’re going to the party with me after the game,” he said.
She said yes!
He told his friend that he was going to marry her someday.
She was Protestant. He was Catholic. She had grown up in Hempstead. He was from the village of Westbury. They married in August 1956, at the chapel at Mitchell Air Force Base. They made their first home together in Westbury, where he was a schoolteacher and a coach. They moved to Hauppauge in 1965 and raised three children—Martha, Tommy, and Paul.
Sue was born Zena Serka Zentrich to parents Anthony and Helen in New York, NY. Zena’s brother, Peter, was the first to call her “Sue.” The nickname stuck.
Her father was Lutheran and a professional musician. He played string bass at Carnegie Hall. One of Sue’s passions was classical music. She traveled by train with her cello for lessons in the City. She would later introduce her close friend, Carol Link, to classical music by taking her downtown to hear the New York Philharmonic.
Sue, with her bright, curious mind and spirit of adventure, had dreamed of being an archeologist. But it was the 1950s. That would have been an unusual career path for most women. After graduating from Hofstra, she worked as a secretary for a lawyer and for the Tandy Company. Her favorite job was working at Smithtown Library, shelving books, typing cards for the card catalog, and helping preserve local history through the Long Island Room.
The one who had dreamed of being an archeologist would become a member of the philanthropic organization, P.E.O., to help other women achieve their highest aspirations through educational scholarships, grants, and low interest loans.
Sue was a lover of nature. She fed the birds. She fed the squirrels! She grew flowers and tomatoes. When she completed her training as a Master Gardener with Cornell Cooperative Extension, she was one of the first in Suffolk County to do so. She enjoyed sharing her knowledge and love of plants with fellow gardeners via a radio show. Listeners would call in with their questions—and the woman who would never throw away a drooping poinsettia when the Christmas season was over but would cover it and nurture it to bloom the next Christmas–would enthusiastically help others solve their plant problems.
When her children were grown, Sue started attending the little white Presbyterian church across the street from the library. She joined the church on May 13, 1992, and was ordained a deacon on June 13, 1993. Three years later, she was ordained an elder and served another 3 years, without a break. She returned and was installed to serve another 3 years as a deacon on June 17, 2007.
One member, Isabel Buse, recalls how she made her feel welcome when they served together on deacons. She can picture her sitting by the Giving Tree in our Narthex in Advent, where people make donations for campus ministry at Stony Brook University. Timmi Nalepa, a member who has moved out of the area, remembers Sue fondly. She says that she was a “wonderful, vibrant and intelligent woman,” often with “an interesting story to share at Presbyterian Women circle meetings or on retreats.” She was a faithful person who “loved Bible study and had such great insights to share.”
In addition to her serving as an elder and deacon and being active with Presbyterian Women, the one who dreamed of being an archeologist used her God-given gifts and talents for the Lord as our longtime church historian. On the dedication page of the (2010) Second Edition of Church and Community: The Story of the First Presbyterian Church of Smithtown, New York (1675-1975) are four names: Dorothy Mehalick, Bradley Harris, Noel Gish, and yes, “Zena S. Nunziata for editing this history.”
She was an excellent bridge player, playing with neighborhood groups as well as the church group that meets on Saturdays. She had a warm smile and a good sense of humor.
She was there when a friend needed her. She rode with Carol Link to Philadelphia when Carol’s mother passed away. “She was my closest friend for many, many years,” Carol says. “I can’t tell you how many gallons of tea were drank at her table and at mine.”
When Sue was hospitalized in November 2022, it was the beginning of the longest separation Tom and Sue had ever experienced. He held onto hope that Sue would regain her strength and return with him to their Hauppauge home. But he gradually came to accept this new chapter of their lives. Her 400 days or so at St. James Rehab would turn out to be a blessing. The other residents would become like family to Tom and Sue. And Sue was able to continue to use her gifts for compassionate ministry.
She who struggled with language, memory, and mobility would hold the hands of those who were homesick and crying. “Sue was on a mission to comfort them,” Tom says.
This scene in the gospel of John is an intimate and emotional moment between friends. Jesus is trying to break the news of his imminent death as gently as possible to those who have become like family; they have traveled and ministered with him for three years.
He urges them to continue to love one another, as he has loved them, so the world will know that they are his disciples– by their love. The concerns of four of his disciples are recorded here. Why? To reassure us who sometimes have questions and doubts along our journey of faith that it’s OK to bring our questions to the Lord. Not only that, but Christ wants us to cast our burdens onto him.
Simon Peter says, “Lord, where are you going?”
Jesus says, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now; but you will follow me afterward.” He tells them about his Father’s house with many dwelling places—plenty of room for all! And how he is going to go and prepare a place for them. He promises that he will come again and take them to himself, so that where he is, they will be, also.
Thomas breaks in with a second question. “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus assures them that he is the way, the truth, and the life.
Philip speaks next. He says, “Lord, show us the Father and we will be satisfied.” This stirs a long passionate answer from Jesus, beginning, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me?”
Judas (not Iscariot) asks the final question, “Lord, how is that you will reveal yourself to us and not to the world?”
Jesus answers with these beautiful words. Hear them now and let them be a comfort to you who are wondering where God is in your life right now. Do you feel far away from the Lord? Listen! “Those who love me will keep my word,” Jesus says, “and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.”
This is a promise to all of us—that God is with us now, living in our midst, dwelling in our hearts, guiding us in our walk of faith, day by day.
I believe this is what Sue and Tom experienced during the chapter of their lives with Sue staying at St. James Rehab. They experienced a strong sense of being “home” when they were together yet not physically in their home. Others noticed their comfort level—may I call it faith?
On her 89th birthday on Nov. 9, about 20 people in wheelchairs circled around Sue, a balloon tied to her chair. A new resident and her son and daughter-in-law stayed at her birthday party for nearly two hours! They all wanted to be near Sue—and her kindness. She had a way of bonding with people at the rehab and making them smile, even the grumpy ones whom others may have found hard to love.
May we all continue to reveal that we are Christ’s followers by our love for one another—and for the stranger and those who come into our lives who may be more difficult to love.
May we cling to the hope of life eternal in the father’s house with many dwelling places—after Christ comes to take us there himself, so that where he is, we will be, also.
Here is Christ’s gift, offered to his first disciples long ago, and to all who trust in him, now and always. This is a gift that never runs out, just as our Savior’s love for us is unconditional and everlasting.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you,” He says. “I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”
Amen.
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