What’s Important

Meditation on John 14

In Memory of Matthew John Kutil

May 29, 1966-March 4, 2025

Pastor Karen Crawford

First Presbyterian Church of Smithtown, NY

March 10, 2025

        Matthew Kutil was the best softball player our church team ever had. Coach John Agostini said Matthew won championships for us.

         He never did anything halfway. He was always full speed ahead.

         Sometimes, that full speed and impulsivity got him into trouble. When he was a young child, he was moving so fast that he traveled through plate glass doors, sustaining life-threatening injuries on two occasions. He received immediate medical attention, recovered and made the best of his situation, though his right arm, injured both times, took a long while for the wound to close and completely heal. It left a deep scar, but it didn’t keep him from doing everything he wanted to do and doing many things well.

         This was truly the story of his life, with all the ups and downs, all that was gained and lost.

          He always knew what was important—his family, his friends, the people he loved so completely, with all his being.

          And everyone loved him. Loved his energy, intelligence, enthusiasm, imagination, creativity, and silly sense of humor. He was the only one who could make his big brother, Todd, laugh until he cried.

           Everyone loved his playfulness, especially with his children, Matthew and Mia. If the family went to the beach, he would jump in the waves with his kids. He would build castles in the sand. He would stroll the boardwalk, walking and talking with his son.

           He wouldn’t be sitting in a chair, hanging out with the grownups.

           He watched Disney movies with his daughter and tried out new recipes so that he could make his family good food. He cooked breakfast for 16 on Christmas Day.

           He was athletic, running track and playing football and softball in high school. A diehard Giants and Knicks fan, he would watch every game with his son when he was home. He would practice baseball with him on the field at Calhoun.

           He was gifted in music, had the voice of an angel when he sang for his church as a small boy. He played piano and clarinet beautifully and competed and received awards on every level with his instruments. He played handbells as a youth and traveled with a group of teens from our congregation, ringing other places.

         He was sensitive, dissolving into tears and sobs when he went to see the 1979 Jon Voight and Ricky Schroder movie, The Champ, with his family. He worked hard in whatever he was doing, wherever he was. Majoring in Ag Business in college, he found enjoyment in construction and remodeling homes. He was a builder. He could make any place more beautiful and functional. He could fix anything.

         In his faith statement from Confirmation, a teenaged Matthew said that he believed in a good God, who is “taking care of everyone.” He thought of God not just in church, but when he was outside in nature. He said, “When I see all the beautiful things around us, like the trees, the blue sky, and the bright yellow sun, I think of the Creator of all these beautiful things.”

      What convinced him of God’s existence was the happiness that he had with his family and friends. “I’ve been brought up with loving and caring attitudes for my family and others outside of my family,” he said. As a member, he promised to care for and give people his love and understanding.

     He believed in the power of prayer. “When something happens to someone in the family,” he said, “I would expect that people would take time and talk to God so that everything comes out right.”

     Becoming a church member meant that he was part of a group, “of learning, caring, and giving people who are not just thinking about themselves,” and always “having someone behind you, wherever you go….”

     He wanted to help others who were struggling, who didn’t have happy families. He worried about other kids. “Maybe I would have new ideas,” he said, “for what the members of the church could do to help other kids coming into the belief of Jesus Christ.”

      He felt a certain responsibility “for the things that happen in the world,” he said. “Why do people have such suffering in their lives?” he asked. “Why do people hate each other and go to war? Why can’t people be equal? Perhaps I can make a difference.”

     In the 14^th chapter of John, we hear Jesus trying to comfort his closest friends, who have become like family to him. He has told them that he is going home to be with the Father. But that that death won’t be the end. He will prepare a place for them in his Father’s house—and he is preparing a place for you and me. And he’ll coming again to take us to himself, so that where he is, we will also be.

    It’s the most distressing time in the lives of the disciples, so far, as they consider what their life will be like without Jesus in the flesh. But he assures them that they will not be orphans, they will not be alone. He will send his Spirit to be with them. And that he will hear their prayers, and whatever they ask of him, they will receive.

   The disciples are not convinced. Thomas want to know where Jesus is going when he dies? How can they know how to find him? How will they know the way?

    Philip wants to see the Father, before Jesus dies. “Show us the Father, and we will be satisfied,” he says.

    Jesus assures them that they DO know the way, for the way is through him, for Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Jesus assures them that they have seen the Father, because they have seen him. “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.”

    Our Savior is ever so patient with all their questions, and he is even more so patient and gracious with our questions. One day, all of our questions will be answered. We see in a mirror darkly, the Apostle Paul says to us. We see only in part. But one day, we will see, face to face.

     Until then, we trust God for what we do not know. We trust God for what cannot see.

     Like Thomas and Philip, Matthew had questions in his faith statement as a youth, a statement that he took so seriously, for he never did anything half way. He believed that being a Christian meant that he would live his life differently and that being a Christian would “make a difference in his life,” he said.

      Do you believe that, too?

       Most likely, Matthew had questions and doubts throughout his life here. For this is what happens when we are on a journey of faith. In all our ups and downs in this life. In all that is gained and lost. You know what’s important, just like Matthew did. Your family, your friends, your church family, the people you love so completely, with all your being.

        Like the first disciples, first-hand witnesses to the miracles and wonders of Christ, Matthew had questions. The one difficulty he had with his believing, he said, was that he wanted to see, hear, and touch the One whom he professed to be his Savior. The One who now holds him in his loving embrace. The One whom he can now see face to face.

       Dear friends, you are not alone here. In the Church, you have someone behind you, wherever you go. And the Lord hears us when we pray. He offers us who have doubts and us who believe, a gift the world cannot give. Will you open your hearts to receive it? For in doing so, you just may make a difference in this world. You just may make the world a better place, as Matthew did with his love and joy.

     “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you,” our Savior says. “Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” Amen.