Marge loved the feeling of the sun on her face. She looked for any window with sun.
She liked a warm bath. She loved the beach.
Her outfits always matched. She liked sparkles and fuzzy blankets and soft clothing. She always wore lipstick. She loved a good meal, such as homecooked steak. She loved red wine. In a box!
She loved to travel to faraway places: South Africa, Asia, Europe, Aruba, Turks and Caicos are a few of them. She flew with her two girls, Nancy and Janice, to Hawaii when Nancy was 12. She liked camping and traveled to Mount Rushmore and other destinations in an RV with Janice, her son-in-law Matthew, and her two grandsons. She took her whole family on cruises. She liked skiing. She was brave enough to pet the sting rays at the Riverhead aquarium. She loved the holidays and enjoyed hosting family gatherings.
She loved chocolate. Any kind.
Marge was born in 1943 to Inez and Randolph Ellis. Her father served in the military in the early years of their marriage, and they moved from place to place. She was born in Washington, D.C. but never talked about it with her girls. She wasn’t there long. Inez and Randolph moved to New York and Marge grew up in Rosedale. Randolph became a NYC fireman. Inez, a nurse.
Marge was an only child. Her mother said it was never the right time to have more children. The family thinks that Inez may have been traumatized by the experience of having a baby, then having to move from place to place because of Randolph’s service.
Marge followed in her mother’s footsteps and became a nurse. She attended Brooklyn Hospital’s nursing school after she graduated from high school in 1964. She gained many dear friends from her nursing class. They remained friends throughout her life. They carried the honorary title and role of “aunt” and were extended family for Marge’s daughters.
She was a good nurse, dedicated to her patients. She would help neighbors, family, and friends who came to her for medical advice or assistance. She went back to school and became a board-certified diabetes educator.
Everything in Marge’s life wasn’t all sweetness and light. You would never know it from meeting her and sitting at her lovely table exquisitely set for guests. She chose not to dwell on difficult times or past disappointments. She never got stuck. Her marriage ended after 18 years. But that was a new beginning for her. That was when she bloomed! She became more and more herself!
Marge chose to live in hope and faith.
Her daughters say she could do almost anything. She worked full time, bought food, cooked dinner, cleaned house, washed clothes, helped them with their homework, and drove them to all their activities. She cut her own lawn and planted flowers—impatiens and yellow daffodils at their Valley Stream home. She became skilled at home improvements. Sunday afternoon visits with her family often included a project—such as spackling and painting a wall, putting up wallpaper, pulling up carpet.
“She was an incredible Mom,” Nancy says. “Fiercely independent, she taught us there wasn’t anything WE couldn’t do.”
Martha of Bethany in this passage in John is another strong woman. She is the same one who was trying to whip up a feast in her home for Jesus and his disciples. But her sister, Mary, was no help at all. She just sat at Jesus’s feet, hanging on every word. Martha had no problem complaining to Jesus about Mary. She asked him to tell Mary to help her with the meal.
But Jesus saw how worried and distracted Martha was. He lifted Mary as the example, that day, the one who was choosing the “better part.” Not that serving Jesus and his disciples a meal was not a good thing to do. Without Martha, there may have been no meal at all.
We never hear about Martha’s husband or children. She may not have had any. She is the head of this household, which includes a younger sister, Mary, and younger brother, Lazarus, as well as some servants. Martha may have chosen not to marry or perhaps she was a widow, some say. In any case, she doesn’t rely on a man to provide for her or complete her.
In today’s passage, Martha had already sent word to Jesus that the one he loved—Lazarus—was seriously ill. But Jesus didn’t answer right away. When he finally made it to Bethany, Lazarus had already been in the tomb 4 days. But Martha, hearing that Jesus was coming, met him on the edge of town. She didn’t wait for him to get to her house. She took the initiative. Mary, on the other hand, stayed home, overcome with her grief and not able to move forward.
Martha, this time, is the example of strong faith, the one who chooses the better part by bringing her grief and disappointment right to Jesus. She says, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Still, she holds onto hope. She isn’t stuck in the past. She is quick to forgive and trust. She says, “But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.”
“I am the resurrection and the life,” Jesus says. “Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
Martha, even before Jesus raises her brother from the tomb, says. “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.”
Marge retired from nursing after about 40 years. She sold the house in Valley Stream and moved to a 55 plus community in Lake Grove for a new chapter. She was ready to spend time with her daughter Nancy and her twins, Brianna and Nicole, when they came into this world. She was ready for more adventures and to make new friends.
One of the first things she did after moving to the area was find a church. She was determined to become more active in volunteering in a church in her retirement. The Presbyterian church in Smithtown was warm and welcoming. She joined the congregation on March 17, 2009. She immediately began serving. I discovered last night that her name is on the inside cover of the 2010 picture directory. She served on the new directory committee as soon as she joined, calling people and making appointments for them to come and have their photos taken.
Her faithful involvement with the flock deepened. She was ordained a deacon on April 11, 2011. She served as our church’s volunteer coordinator for the Smithtown Food Pantry. She joined one of our women’s circles. And she found that she had a talent for cleaning the glass and brass of the church until everything shone and sparkled.
The part of Marge’s story that touches my heart is that, even though she liked everything sparkling clean, and even scrubbed out the refrigerator when she was at a weekend rental, she was the kind of grandmother who wasn’t afraid to get dirty. Gaga, as her grandchildren called her, would get down on the ground with them and make a mudpie. Build a castle in the sand. Draw with chalk on the driveway. She even tried to ride a bike when the children were riding theirs. Gaga was the kind of grandmother to have a picnic with her grandchildren on the front lawn. She dressed up every year on Halloween in a banana costume to go trick or treating with Brianna and Nicole.
Marge’s last home on earth was Good Shepherd Hospice in Port Jeff. She was there less than one day. But there, the Lord provided for her need for a peaceful, caring place where she could be made comfortable after struggling through some uncomfortable days and nights. At her bedside, the family and I and those who were like family held hands and prayed. We took our concerns right to the Lord, like Martha, and the Lord answered our prayers.
The beautiful woman in her red flowered gown, silver hair neatly combed, traveled to her everlasting home on Thursday, Nov. 20. Just imagine! She now sees her Savior face to face. He has wiped away every tear, taken away all her pain and confusion. She has entered the joy that he prepared when he died and rose again and sent his Spirit to live with us and be our Comforter, Healer, Strength, and Guide.
That same joy is waiting for you and me, for all who trust in God’s grace, mercy, and love and in the Son, the Light of the world. For those who sometimes struggle with difficulties and disappointments but also see life as a great adventure for those who, like Marge, bravely embrace it—taking time to build castles in the sand, draw with chalk on a driveway, pet sting rays, and enjoy picnics on the front lawn with grandchildren. Those who choose hope and faith each day, like Marge, and don’t get stuck looking back. Those who offer friendship to their neighbor and the stranger, serve the Lord with gladness, and share God’s love.
The Lord spoke to Martha in her grief. He speaks to you and me, today, in this place. The Spirit is urging us to grow in faith and trust and receive the Lord’s comfort and healing for a broken heart. Christ says to us, we who yearn to seek his face and have every tear wiped away, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
May you answer your Lord, as Martha did, with confidence, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.”
I am the pastor of First Presbyterian Church of Smithtown, NY, on Long Island. Come and visit! We want to share God’s love and grace with you and encourage you on your journey of faith. I have served Presbyterian congregations in Minnesota, Florida and Ohio since my ordination in 2011. I earned a master of divinity degree from Princeton Theological Seminary in 2010 and a doctor of ministry degree from Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary in 2025. I am married to Jim and we have 5 grown children and two grandchildren in our blended family. We are parents to fur babies, Liam, an orange tabby cat, and Minnie, a toy poodle.
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Sharing God's Love and Grace 